Difficult Days and Years

Well, life is not easy. My parents are older in their late 80's. My Mother does almost all the work around their house. My Dad spends a lot of time in bed or sitting on the porch in good weather and front of the t.v. in bad weather. I am really blessed to have 2 parents living and still in their home. My sister, who is younger than me, lives in GA. She has been very ill for about 4 years. She has diabetes that went undiagnosed while pouring her energy into a dying friend. She has small vasculature so the diabetes has affected her vision, cut off the blood supply to her foot,and affected her kidneys. It hurts me that I may out live my sister. In my memory I see her as a child running. She loved to run and she would tell you"I run fast!" So Her lack of health sometimes makes me cry. She has many health care bills and my parents help her financially as they can. My sister still works as an English teacher.

I have worked as a RN for 38 years. I loved the ER but the ER became so big and the staffing of the ER so short we were not allowed meal breaks often. I had been dealing with depression for years. I was told I needed to find another area to work. Let me say I hate 12 hr shifts. I need more down time in order to work and give of my self. Now I am grateful the hospital realizes there needs to be more staff in the ER. But it makes me angry that all of us worked so short and had to deal with so much pt and family anger every day. I am looking for a new job. I came to the conclusion that I would never be able to please my Nurse Manager. I talk too loud look too anxious, every thing I do is wrong. But over the past 2 weeks I have had other nurses come to me to tell me they thought I was a good nurse. Some even to say if they were ill they would want me to be their nurse or their family's nurse. I am sad. I have done a lot of crying. I should have quit when I my intuition told me the nurse manager wanted me to go. Well I have been praying for a 8 hr a day job. I am praying for the LORD to set a table before me with a banquet, not just a table. I for give those who are my enemies. But I want GOD to defend me. That all of this will be for my good and HIS glory.

Viet Nam 1970-1971

As I have said before I did serve in South Vietnam. I took care of American civilians, Vietnamese civilians- children and adults, and all allies of the USA as well as military personnel. I saw things that really bothered me.When I came home , I had frequent dreams of being in Vietnam that were more real to me than when I woke up. I often woke up in a sweat. Now I rarely have these dreams. I cried as I watched us leave Vietnam. I was very concerned for the people who worked for the USA military or government. I remembered my mamasan and those who worked in the hospital. What kind of lives they would have under the new regime? What kind of reeducation process would they go through? I watched the chaos on the TV and yet I felt like I was there. Last year I ordered some towels. When I opened the package a paper fell under my eyes"Made in Vietnam". I shook and dropped the package. I had such an adrenaline rush -a sense of disbelief that this product came from there with out my knowledge . I am sure that is how my Father felt when he saw things made "in Japan". I now know Vietnam is the new Japan and is sewing many of the products purchased in the USA. For me when I think of Vietnam it is 12 hr work days 5-6 days a week, helicopters, heat and rain, really big rats, mamasans looking through door key holes in the officer quarters, malaria infected soldiers with high fevers and diarrhea,and bombing or fragging of places where there were Americans. I was a 22-23 yr old a very young and inexperienced woman and nurse. I remember many people on every side who wanted to get ahead, get what they wanted and willing to use anyone to suit their purpose. I did meet some very honorable people and some who lived and witnessed for Christ. So let your light shine in the dark places. It may seem you are not making a deference. But you are. I have put some pictures on this site of South Vietnam. There are no pictures of patients.

New Movie 10 Commandments showing Oct 19 2007

Kadosh Sung by Paul Wilbur-Videp by Jennifer Roswell Williams

Let God Arise - Paul Wilbur

[via FoxyTunes / Paul Wilbur]

This music just makes me want to dance and jump. My knees creek and crack but this feels me with joy. I think of Mariam and how she danced on the other side of the Red Sea.

Newsboys - He Reigns

[via FoxyTunes / Newsboys]

To anyone discouraged or who feels forgotten
God still reigns. Are you disappointed by some of the people that were held up in the Christian community as leaders? Take your eyes off people and put them on GOD. He reigns! Praise the LORD! HE reigns!

Days of Elijah - Paul Wilbur

[via FoxyTunes / Paul Wilbur]

About Music by Liberated Wailing Wall

I enjoy this music so much! I want to share it with you. If you want to purchase a CD you can go to Jews for Jesus link and find the music. I am so grateful Jews for Jesus has made this music free to download.

I have a desire to understand my roots which came from the OLD TESTAMENT. Many Christians forget,Jesus was born as a Jew into a Jewish family and he came to fulfill the law. He came to the Jews first as promised so that Israel would be a blessing to all nations.

Some Christians believe the Christian Church has set aside Israel. I am not one of them. I do believe as a Christian, I am grafted into the tree of Israel. Anyway I would like better understanding of the BIBLE and to do so I need to have as much understanding of the Jewish Religion from Father Abraham to Paul. Yes, I think of Abraham as my spiritual Father. I am one of the stars that could not be numbered. Some Christians think they do not need to study and know the OLD TESTAMENT but they are wrong. In Genesis God begins to point to Jesus and the Holy Spirit. GOD does not change put the way he has tried to draw people to him changes. He used the sacrifice of animals, a people he call out to be HIS, and invitation to all who will come and follow Jesus.
The Music is Holy Holy
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